It comes to you because you let it,
because you surrendered,
because you’re pure.

And how can you not break down?
You build and build on these walls
which became so high you thought nothing,
not even the boy who you thought loved you,
could climb over, which was a stupid mistake
because you wept night and day to hope that your tears
would turn into cement and you could rebuild the wall-
alone.

His hammering fists and razor sharp fingernails deform
what you thought was as strong as steel.
Piece by piece it falls into crumbles and dust,
becoming easier to break as he utters the dishonest compliments
you are so eager to hear.

But this feeling doesn’t come to the one who broke your heart.
It doesn’t come to the homewrecker who sleeps around just to hurt others,
to the one who shoots peers down on social media for the basis of “likes”,
to the girl who judges solely on looks because hers are inferior against others.
It doesn’t come to the parent who truly doesn’t deserve the position at all.
Or to the petty b**** who spreads rumors because you have what was once hers.

No, it comes to your lonely soul which never caused another human’s pain
because you’re so distracted trying to decode the lock on his heart.
And his rank grows higher in the game he cultivated
because you just became another number in his books.

No, depression is the boy you never thought would hurt you,
who raises you up with untrue words and false affection
into the empty burrows of your dark mind,
plays you like you’re a simple card game,
while you try to figure out the rules of his game.
He wins when you’re most vulnerable,
and his prize?
The pieces to the broken wall you built
so high.

It comes uninvited,
sneaks up on you
during the midst of a radiant day,
having crushed the near future’s beauty.