A Lotus In A Room Full of Roses

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Laying in a rose garden bed, on the prickly thorns, where she rests her head
A lotus, growing from the water and sun rays kissing her roots
I overhear them saying, what’s a lotus doing with a bunch of roses?
The odd one in the bunch, shying away from the truth
While the others grow in age, she continues to keep her youth
Their hearts pump kool-aid, her heart pumps soul
Childish in her ways, naive since she always stayed inside
Once upon a time, she wanted to be like them
Feel alive, and enjoy the breeze, take in the earthy smell of the autumn leaves
Breathe like them, swim in the ocean with the sharks and never be afraid
Their hearts pump kool-aid, her heart pumps soul
Long ago, she tried, they allowed her, and she failed
A wimp in their eyes, alone and so frail, cause she can’t hang, she’s so strange
Then she realizes that they were never her “friends” anyway
Never again will sin with them, now she must begin, recognizing what she has within
Eccentric, cause every sentence she finishes is different than those of her peers
Their hearts pump kool-aid, her heart pumps soul
Adores the old age arrangements
She reads for her own enjoyment, considering the fact she taught herself to do so
No one showed her the way, she wanted to read, she was on the computer every day
Her destiny is clear, releasing her anger onto the pages,
Their hearts pump kool-aid, her heart pumps soul
Her demise, one of the many things she fears, used to drown in her tears
And eventually, they're gone leaving her to scream
Thick Crimson, she bleeds
The rust haunts her down causing her to break
Like dried up leaves
Their hearts pump kool-aid, her heart pumps soul
Blood flowing through her veins rapidly, like a beach with waves
Standing on the edge of glory, looking death in the eyes, telling him to go away
Now she’s brave, now she’s cool, now she’s okay
Now she can stand tall and look at them all lacking creativity, bringing negative energy, the epitome of ignorance
A light complexion, but yet she’s still black, they stare in amusement
Noticing her movement, I can’t be black all the way
I don’t know the struggle, I can’t get it, I’m not like them cause I’m not from the hood
I was born there and stayed there for one year, so that’s no good
I’m a black girl living in the suburbs, with light skin, brown hair
Which means I’m too white for the black kids and too black for the white
Where do I fit in, tell me, what is my type?
Their hearts pump kool-aid, her heart pumps soul
I have everything I’ve needed, and most of what I’ve wanted
But I’m not rich, I can’t get every new pair of fresh kicks
My hair can’t be done professionally every day of the week
That’s why I aspire to spend my life on the mic
And recite things that I feel so strongly about deep inside
Ignoring the fact that I’ll forever be an outcast
Cause there’s no category for girls like me
I’m indifferent, irregular, quirky, odd, strange, abnormal, bizarre, peculiar, weird
But I love it, cause there’s no one else like me
And if there is, let me know, so both of us can glow, but as of now
Their hearts pump kool-aid, her heart pumps soul
No one else has a scar on their face in the same place that I do
I have a curious mind, each day I wanna solve all the clues
Life is a beautiful struggle, I wish to complete all the puzzles
I wish to not be silenced, like a fierce animal forced to wear a muzzle
My world is all over the place, everything’s random, there’s no specific way to go
I just move where the path leads me, the way God knows
Their hearts pump kool-aid, her heart pumps soul
Used to question my beauty, doubt my strength, cause no one ever noticed me
The girls with the most colorful personalities are admired by the boys
I felt as if I was black and white in a world full of color, out of place
Thought if I talked a little differently they'd recognize my face
But I've learned that it's better to be authentic than be fake
I've fallen a thousand times, but I will not break
And I'm wide awake, they try to bury me in lies, pointing out every mistake
I have made, and now I am brave, being with the rebels taught me not to be afraid but
Their hearts pump kool-aid, her heart pumps soul
Long ago, I picked up the shards of my heart and pieced them together to mend what has been ripped apart
Now I have awakened, ready for a brand new start, excited to pierce their souls with every piece, every moment I own it, my negro hair, I flaunt it
I’m sick of that jaded sensation, feeling like all my dreams have faded
Believing the blood inside me is tainted, cruelly judged for my love of outdated styles of music
Their hearts pump kool-aid, her heart pumps soul
I’m not infatuated with writing, I am in love with it, each day I’m filled with anticipation to create another masterpiece
Aiming to complete something sophisticated, or at least fascinating to all ages
I’ve watched the lives of many disintegrate, which is why I’m so motivated to be nothing like the incarcerated stigma
She’s come back reincarnated
I aspire to leave a distinct mark on this world
Something unknown to every boy and girl
Vocabulary tremendous, intelligence stupendous
Every thought that comes to mind, phenomenal
Their hearts pump kool-aid, her heart pumps soul
Hearing the naysayers say my happiness will be short lived, never long lasting, and this rap thing is just a phase with a gaze, amazes me, I’m wondering how they have the audacity to say such things
I hope after they’re buried in a coffin they burn from the hatred they spew, so egregious
But I think once again, and I leave with a peaceful mindset, I’ll forgive them but I won’t forget that
Their hearts pump kool-aid, my heart pumps soul, cause I’m real with imperfections beyond control






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