ever since           *
i was little, i had been told
that i was in love with the stars.
i would have staring contests with the moon every night.
i wished upon asteroids and shooting stars,
but no one had prepared me for the change i
was about to go through.

ever since i was 13
i had this idea that the stars had a name.
later had i learned, the stars revolved around you.
this idea that constellations had thoughts and beliefs as much
as you and i do,
it drives me.
so now, every time i stare into your eyes,
i see
the sun,
the moon,
and the constellations that outline your features.

ever since i was able to walk,
i had this concept planted into my heart
that one day you would come save me.
now living through fifteen years of life,
only you can save yourself.

ever since i discovered
that things aren’t easy,
i grew up.
when i realized everything isn’t handed to you,
i knew that i had to fight.

ever since i was old enough to comprehend
phrases and metaphors,
i used the hurt that you and the
ones before you have given me…
and i turned it into art.
i started writing until my fingertips would bleed.
i wrote until my heart could no longer pour out
words and sentences to put the thought of you
on paper.

ever since i could see the world in multiple perspectives,
i understood what it took to be someone,
be something.
it took multiple heart aches
one after the other.
you seem to be the only
thing that inspires my writing anymore.
there’s a small selfish part of me,
that wants you around because
you bring out the best in me.
you bring out my ability to do
what i doubt i, myself can do.
you bring out the creativity in me
and most of all,
you inspire it all.
for the past 5 months
you have been the subject of my art.
my Muse.

i relate you to the stars,
not because they’re nice to look at,
but because they explode sooner or later.
they live for millions
even billions of years
their love lasts lifetimes.

your heart is so enormously huge
that it swallows you whole at night.
it makes you think if you’re doing the right things,
making the right choices,
wondering what you could’ve done better,
if you had a second shot.
believe me, mine does the same.
our hearts together are too big for
the universe to handle,
and that’s why we were born with tragedies in our hearts.

one day you’ll wake up to
realize all of the things you wish
you could have done to save our love.
but if you stop yourself from thinking,
just for a moment.
you’ll begin to understand…
our minds put together could be the end of all things.
it could be the beginning of Oblivion.
we, together, could obliterate anyone who
stood in our way.

and that’s why,
ever since you broke my heart,
i related you to the stars.