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Lightning - Impulse

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An ethereal note

Bursts forth

Like the Big Bang

In the vacuum of ennui,

 

Flooding a parched imagination.

From a dormant mind germinates ectasy;

A thrush opens its beak

And out pours a zither song.

 

Lightning-fingers strum the clouds;

Thundering inspiration ignites the spirit,

Raging rivers sculpt barren land

Into a masterpiece in the making.




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hwoodruff98This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
today at 9:21 pm
Your words are very rich, and I think the poem is nicely written and flows well. I love how you have taking something like lightning and made it beautiful rather than threatening. I love the tribute to nature and creativity. I would suggest the following edits: In the first stanza: I would say "in a vacuum" instead of "in the vacuum." In the second stanza, the line "From dormant seeds germinates ecstasy" is nice, but I don't think it fits well in this stanza or poem. It doesn't make much sense ... (more »)
 
hwoodruff98This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 9:21 pm
Oops taken*
 
LeisurelySketchesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 11:52 pm
Thanks a ton for the encouragement and suggestions!
 
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