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Sleep Deprivation

Midnight now, and I finally lay my head down.
All the stress in the world is supposed to subside, now.
The night light in the hallway projects its beams on my bedroom walls.
Before I know it, they start dancing with the shadows from my window.
The songs they parade with are the tones and voices in my head.

"I need more money, I work so hard for nothing on the daily."
"I can't afford my rent. My car payment is due in three days and I'm a little short."
"Will this pain ever stop."
I turn over and over to find a comfortable position, but I can't.
The nerve damage from getting hit by that drunk driver, two years ago, is stabbing.

Memories of the day often start mashing with the stress as it hits two A.M..
The spead of the ballad moves faster.
Louder and louder, the voices get.
Soon enough, the lights seem brighter.
"I have to wake up soon. I need some sleep."
Every night just keeps getting worse.

Four A.M. is the slowest hour I know.
It seems like minutes are hours themselves.
By four thirty, I start getting angry.
I growl and throw back the blankets so I can get up and shut out the lights.
Who knew a tiny wall plug-in from the other room could make such a problem?

Still, not quite five A.M.
I could possibly get three hours if I fall asleep now.
"One, two, three, four...thirty nine, forty, forty one."
Eventually I make it to three hundred and four before I forget what number I was on and start all over.
Six A.M.

Things get foggy and I forget everything after six thirty.
It seems like I closed my eyes for a second to blink, and now its eight A.M.
Still, I could get five more minutes..
Another blink, and I'm back in bed and it's midnight again.
But today was fresh in my mind.

"Maybe I should write down my thoughts, it'll help me sleep I think.."
Though I can't move, my back and legs hurt from work.
I just want to fall asleep.
Three A.M. already and all I've done is stare into the darkness.
I'm starting to see the silhouettes again.

Eight A.M. again and I only slept a Blink's worth.
I start my day, tired as hell.
Again and again and again.
I can feel my brain moving sludge-like.
Like videos that take forever to load because the internet is slow.

Eight A.M. again, but I have plenty of time to sleep in today.
Within a few blinks, I'm asleep.
For what feels like hours, I sleep comfortable.
I open my eyes and it's only nine thirty A.M.
This clock is mocking me.

Snoozing until three P.M. I finally open my eyes again and feel refreshed.
I stretch and rise from my prison of sleep deprivation.
I feel good, refreshed, but it doesn't last.
I go to work, only to have people treat me like a peasant.
Every twenty to thirty minutes I have annoying spouts of indigestion and yawning.

Back to midnight and I'm dreading the fight.
But I'm so exhausted.
When will it stop?
My delusions from the lack of rest get worse.
I feel shadows starring at me when I close my eyes.

The paranoia increases after each night.
Even during the day, now, I can feel these shadows.
The silhouettes, as I call them.
I can't fight it anymore.
I'm so tired, I need to shut my eyes for a second, but I cant...

Midnight again, and I lay down.
My bed is warm and I fall asleep almost immediately.
"Finally", I think. At peace for once.
Until four A.M.
Then the silhouettes return to torment.

Once again, eight A.M. drags my conscience out into the day.
And within another blink, the day is gone.
I remember only driving to work.
Though I feel the pain and pressure in my back and feet.
Every day is a fight with tiredness and pain.

Nine thirty A.M. and once more, I blink and the day is gone.
It was beautiful out and I can still feel the sun's rays warming my face.
Though I don't look at the clock, I assume its midnight again.
I close my eyes for a second until -
I'm abruptly woken up by a heavy pain in my head.

Glass flying through the air and someone was laying on their horn.
The silhouettes are pushing and shoving me around.
They're carrying me.
My headache worsens.
I try so hard, but I can't open my eyes.

Midnight again and I finally open my eyes.
In reality it was only a few minutes after-
The headache was intense and I put my hands on my head.
I soon realize my head is gushing blood.
And the silhouettes are choking me.

I fight back but I'm too weak.
My sight goes black and again, I feel like I'm starring at the dark ceilings in my room.
Only something's different..
Its cold and the room smells like death.
Midnight again, I lay myself to rest.
Only this time, I'm not in my room. Never again will I be sleep deprived, because never again will I sleep.





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