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No Self Defense
Your lovely chocolate brown eyes made me feel comfortable.
It matched your perfectly brown chocolate hair.
When both hit the sunlight you could see the deep, rich, beauty in it.
Just how I felt your soul was, rich, deep, and pure.
Like so many others, I got caught, into your web.
I thought you were spinning me into a ball of warmth, cascading your love around me.
Although, a spider only spins creatures in its web to eat.
You devoured me, made me a Skelton of emotions.
But, I would let you do it 1,000 time over,
Just to feel that little warmth you gave me.
You were my own personal sun.
You shinned, until I let you blind me.
I only could follow your voice.
I acted like an innocent child. Easily perceptible, only wanting love.
Not caring if I got hurt.
But, I would let you do it 1,000 over,
Just to feel that love you gave me.
When I think of you, my face burns crimson red.
Your rays are now cancerous and I die happily every minute I am more exposed.
Smiling while my body slowly dies away.
The rays you once used to warm me have scratched me beyond measure.
I am a broken mirror, in pieces, reflecting back only your goodness to the world.
Shattered and broken is how you control me.
I try to put my pieces back together but I end up more broken.
The shards of broken glass pierce into my skin.
So, I cannot follow my heart, it is in a 1,000 pieces.
Only you can put me back together.
The light you offered now dims my soul
My soul screams to be released from your clutches, but it will never.
To know this, hurts me the most.
You stripped me of my innocence.
Things I had never told anyone in this world. You spoke.
Only words that made me, myself,
and stories I had never spoken.
But, I would let you do it 1,000 times over,
Just to have someone accept me for who I actually am.
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This is about my stuggle against body image and how I beat myself down.