Shy Then, Shy now

March 1, 2017

I am shy
I have always been shy
I have i am even shy towards some of my family
I should be most comfortable with my family but i'm not
When i was in kindergarten and first grade i would never talk
I wouldn't talk to any not even the teachers
Since i never talked i had to go to counseling
My counselor made me talk about everything going on in life
She ask me so many questions and i answered them
She is the only person i would talk to besides my mom and my brothers and sister
After months of counseling they found out i have selective mutism
People who are shy tend to have selective mutism
When i got to second grade i still went to counseling but i talk at school
As the the years went i started talking more and more
I stopped going to counseling because i improved so much
Honestly i was so proud of myself
In elementary school i improved so much
And then middle school came
Me and my family moved
Therefore i had to go to a new school
When i went i was so shy i never talked only when i had to
My shyness got worse when i went to middle school
I think it was because it was a new scenery for me
In elementary school i went to the same school all 6 years
Then i had to go to a new school with new people
I let my shyness get the best of me
I wasn't proud of myself for that
I would hardly talk to my friends
I was so shy
I wish i knew why
When high school came i went to school with my old friends from elementary school
I wasn't that shy freshman year
I opened up a lot more then usual
Then i had to go to another new school
Which is the school i am attending now
I was shy at first but then i actually started talking
Sophomore year i was less shy but still shy
Sophmore i definitely talked more than usual
I started talking more to my family
I have always talk to my immediate family
But when it came to the rest of my family i was always shy towards them
Then i finally overcame my shyness towards them
I finally realized there should be no reason to be scared to be me around them
I am closer than ever around my family
Now it's junior year and i'm still shy
I definitely talk more than last year but i'm still shy
It's really weird because i'm only shy at school
At home i'm loud and talking way too much
In public i'm also loud and not afraid to talk
So why am i so scared to talk at school ?
When i'm at school i'm shy but anywhere else i'm not
Why am i only shy at school ?
Eventually i would figure it out  

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