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Our Baby Bear

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You are our baby bear
Conceived on the 2nd of May
The silhouettes draped you in blue
Layers all brand new, you were confused by the sounds
You smelled of Johnson & Johnson’s products, soft and refreshing
Dosed in your momma’s love, sweat, and blood, jubilation surrounded you

You are our baby bear
With curly hair, big beautiful eyes, a new addition to society
And each day you kept crying, and crying, and crying, and crying
Your momma’s main priority and I didn’t need no rooster, you woke me up cordially
Developing your lungs so you can speak many words later

You are our baby bear
Enjoying samples of many things - Oh no, not my paper!
I watched you attempt to take your first steps, saw your frustration
Nonetheless, you kept trying until there was no hesitation
But you soon discovered places we didn’t want you to go…
Oh no!

You are our baby bear
Christian, let this sink in your infant mind, I’m proud of the things you know
Even though you love to jump in my bed, and laugh at me when I scream
Opening my door, as old as can be, producing an eerie creak
Full of joy, you don’t notice the annoying squeak

You are our baby bear
And some days you like to peek into my room, just to see my reaction
I think you enjoy spending your days, laughing and laughing, and laughing
You’re only three, you can count by four’s, and open the basement door
If you’re hungry, you say you  want more, identify letters out of order, saying
Words for every letter we call out, you are a sprout but without a doubt
Amazing

You are our baby bear
For entertainment, you watch Peppa Pig, and whenever there’s big
Muddy puddles, you jump in them, making a big splash
But I’m so glad for all the things you have
Your words will not drown in the deep ocean because you so much to say
Never go to bed on time, cause you like to sing
Used to confuse Grandma with Mommy, but now you’re noticing
The people who influence you the days that you live, and what you give
A sense of delight, and contentment throughout every dark night
As brave as they come, never filled with fright, you already know how to ride your bike
I look to the sky and wish that your future is bright, I hope you’ll never have to fight with all your might

Look baby bear, I know you’re going to be different than the rest
I can see it in your eyes, the way you laugh, the way you stare at the sky
I just hope that you’ll never have to cry, and if there is a test, you will do your best

You are our baby bear
And I hope that when you grow up, they won’t judge you by the clothes you wear, you will embrace your kinky hair, every feeling you have you will share, that you become aware of your reality, you’re never filled with despair, and you won’t care who’s there,
Cause you are our baby bear




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Stop.with.the.bots.please said...
today at 10:13 pm
This line: "Your momma’s main priority and I didn’t need no rooster, you woke me up cordially" is somewhat confusing. Were you trying to use the word "you're" or "you are?" I know that you fused the two sentences together for the sake of the rhyme scheme (which I really think is brilliant) but these two independent clauses are not directly correlated with each other. When you put two independent clauses together that aren't directly related, it sounds something like "The sky is blue today, I... (more »)
 
hwoodruff98This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 17 at 5:33 pm
Overall, this was a very sweet poem, and I could tell that it was a more personal piece. I do have a few comments and edits to suggest, though, so I'll leave them below. 1) Love the subtle rhyming of "blue" and "new." Subtle rhyming gives a nice musical quality to any piece. 2) In the first stanza, it should be "doused" instead of "dosed" 3) In the second stanza, there is an error in verb tense. It should be "Developing your lungs so you could speak many words later" 4) The detail of th... (more »)
 
missfloetryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 20 at 8:22 pm
Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it. I didn't even notice the errors I've made. This really helps, and I can definitely understand how I sort of forced the words to rhyme. Thank you so much, @hwoodruff98!
 
valkyrie1212This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 10 at 10:18 pm
Love this!
 
missfloetryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 15 at 11:59 am
@valkyrie1212 Thank you!
 
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