Big sister

February 22, 2017
By , Toledo, OH

when you were born you were like grandma’s fine china
something so delicate, so precious.
Unable to touch, only gaze.
Just like grandma’s fine china,
I itched to break you
before She did.
at least,
I’d be able to pick up the pieces
and put you back together.

She gave you sips from her glass
when you were 5.
you wanted milk, but the milk smelled funny.
I took the glass away from
screaming and crying
but Love I was going to protect you
even if it wasn’t supposed to be
my job.

I was the one who taught you how to
act pretty, look pretty
be pretty.
It'll be easier to run away,
I said.
I was the one who told you to stay away
from the boys that smelled like Her
because only fools say
words hurt more than fists.
I was the one who made sure
She was gone
when your friends came over to talk about
shoes and the cute new boy-

Because even now you are still
in my eyes. I can take the words, the glass bottles.
I can clean up the mess, give you milk that doesn’t smell funny
When you were born I made a promise
you would be happy.

And I tried.
I loved you more than
She ever could.
But still
it will never be enough.

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