Take me back

February 19, 2017
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Take me back to when I was little
I'd spend all day on the swingset
And never worry about anything except for
Someone cutting in front of me in line

Back to when my mom would smile
And tell me stories about her old pets
How she had a Rottweiler who’d guard her
And her show cow that would sit on the porch

My grandma would play games with me
When I finally learned how to whistle
I'd whistle spontaneously
And she'd ask if there was a bird in the house

My aunts would buy me nice gifts
My neighbor would come over and we'd play together
I lived on a farm so we were distant from our neighbors
My family only ever talked to a few

My friends and I would run around acting crazy
We would sing Hannah Montana songs
We would have sleepovers regularly
People were nice

But then something happened

My mom cried a lot because my stepdad would always be drunk
She told me about all the things he used to do
His mind would get lost in pictures of naked women
And he'd sit on the couch and smoke legalized drugs when we weren't home

My grandma since passed away
My dad used to live with her
Her house was supposed to go to him and eventually me
But that didn't happen

My aunt changed her will and got the house for herself
My neighbor moved away because his sister was suicidal
My other neighbor killed herself two days before I was going to kill myself
I found out at school four days after she killed herself

I have few friends and I'm losing my best friend to the popular crowd
My other friends and I sing Panic at the Disco
I can't have sleepovers because my house looks like a hoarder’s
People suck

Now I feel so little in this world
Sometimes I want to go to the park and swing
I worry a lot
Especially about my friends who cut





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