i remember

February 1, 2017
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All I can do is remember
I can picture your face
It’s mostly clear when I’m asleep
The only time I hear your voice
Is when I’m asleep

I remember when you’d yell at me
For what he did
But I let you anyway
It would do no good to tell you Gage did it
I remember that I couldn’t look at you
Because I might have cried

I remember when I had a good report card
And you’d take me to the arcade
I’d like to play ball drop because I knew I’d always win
I remember you’d always laugh at me
Because I’d tried to hit the button at the right time
I only got the jackpot a couple times
But that never stopped me from playing that

I remember you’d be my favorite part of the week
I’d get excited to see you
Because you always had fun  games for us to do
Even though you were hard on me sometimes
I knew you were doing it to help me
I remember how we played baseball in the front yard
You’d always let me win so I wouldn’t be sad
I remember you’d call me your little princess
And said I was the only girl that you needed

I remember how you read me bedtime stories
And how you hugged me tight for the scary parts in a movie
And how you gave me sprite and rubbed my stomach when I was sick
Or how you’d send me to my aunt to fix my hair for school
Because you didn’t know how

I remember how I went visit you in the hospital in Texas
I remember I was so happy to see you doing well
I remember I saw you two weeks before it happened
And how they didn’t want to tell us
I remember how I found out

I remember the next time I saw you
And it wasn’t you
You were cold and stiff
Like nothing was there
I remember asking you to wake up
and to come back to me
But you laid still
I remember smelling flowers that filled the room

I remember the weeks after
And how it didn’t feel like you were gone
But you weren’t really gone
You’re still in my heart

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