Wow. This is a very dark and intense poem. I liked the repetition of ticks and how the last second it cut off. Here are my suggestions: Lines 1 & 2: here, your "ticks" are in all caps, but elsewhere they are italicized and in lowercase. For the sake of continuity, I would suggest you pick one format and stick to it. If you want the poem to have a more violent, dangerous feel, I would stick with all caps. Line 3: I would put "tick" on its own line. Line 10: "I will fail" should be its own line as well Line 11: I think the word "final" would sound better in this context, especially because it creates alliteration with "fail" Line 15: I would format it one of three ways: "TICK, TICK, TICK!" "TICK! TICK! TICK!" or "TICKTICKTICK!" I wouldn't put the commas in and take out the spaces. If the point was to create a sense of urgency, the "ticks" running together without spaces or punctuation would be best, I think. Line 19: I would align "time has run out" with the rest of the poem instead of having it centered. Once again, continuity is important. Over all, it was a nice piece. Keep writing!