Without You, Im Alive | Teen Ink

Without You, Im Alive

December 4, 2016
By starlene0_0 BRONZE, Homestead, Florida
starlene0_0 BRONZE, Homestead, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I'm able to breathe now without you. I can smile, laugh, jump and be myself now, knowing you can't touch me anymore.
I can't believe that I let you control me for almost a whole year. You were so toxic, and boy, did you know it. You fed off the ways I reacted to you pushing me away. I knew it was over, in my heart, when you watched me take my last breath before I collapsed onto your kitchen floor. You just stood there, not a drop of regret or care in your eyes.
You pulled me in so deep. I was instantly yours as soon as your eyes met mine. I didn't know how much poison you were going to inject into me until it coursed through my veins and drowned my heart. You filled me with expectations and false love. I loved you with all of me and then some. You didn't care. You craved the attention of others; attention that I couldn't give you because I am only me, and no one else is like me and I am like no one else.
Now, I am alive. I am without you and I don't wake up with swollen eyes any more. You showed me the worst type of love possible, which I thank you for that. Now, I can take better care of myself and I know the signs of an abusive relationship. I shall never put myself in that position again. I will never put myself down to lift someone up again, especially to someone like you who didn't appreciate how full heartedly I put my all into things if it meant I was able to see you smile again.
Without you, I can feel beautiful again. I can feel beautiful and not worry about comparing myself to others. I am me and there is only one me. Without you, I can see. There is no more poison blinding me from seeing. I will now be able to always know the truth as it stands in front of me. Without you, I feel worthy. I no longer have to question my worth nor prove my worth to someone like how I tried with you.
Without you, i'm alive.


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