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Demons

By , Ridgefield, WA

I used to walk the earth proud,
I had once been,
Shy,
Smart,
Idealistic,
Kind-hearted,
Once I was even happy.
Formally that was I.
But now it is only an act.
An act for my peers,
An act for my family,
An act for my friends,
And an act for my sanity,


And yet,
They still can’t see who I am,
Now that I have been taken over.
All they can see
is the light of my former angels
But I only feel
The darkness from my demons.
They say that I only see light,
They say that I have
shut of the darkness out of me.
But I am blind.
I am blind to the light.
I blind to all the goodness
in the entire world.
All I can feel is the dark,
The darkness seeping into my every pore,
The darkness swelling inside me,
The darkness washing over me,
The darkness inside of me,
Darkness overtaking,
I’ve been filled to the brim
With darkness.
I am the darkness.


My demons and angels had fought,
They waged wars for ages,
Until the last day,
The tables were turned.
The day became dark,
I became dark


Oh how I wish they hadn't taken over me.
Now that
My devils conquered long ago,
My angels had fallen too.
No one knows
No one knows.
No one will know.
I won’t let them know.
No one will know that my demons have won,
And that my angels have fallen.


I could feel their claws,
Ripping
Tearing
Shredding
Me of my good intentions
And of my rights.


I once wished for a
A flight across the heavens
Halo gleaming,
Wings shining.
And face alight with joy.
But no, now I wish that
I could just rest.
Rest from my mind,
It's an ever ending void filled with
My thoughts.
My inner horns weigh me down,
My thorny nails digging into my flesh
Scaly skin preventing death,
Long spiked tail wagging at the thought of sorrow.
Black dead eyes sad and deep.
I am a demon on the inside,
I may act an angel.
But I am nothing more than a wolf in sheep's cloth.


But I won't let the world see my lose,
No one will know what I feel.
I act like I was before,
Shy
Smart
Idealistic
Kind-hearted
Even happy.
But now I have been washed in oil,
And doused in blood.


No one has felt this pain,
And no one ever will.
No one sees my pain,
And no one ever will.
No one hears these cries,
And no one ever will.
No one hears my screams,
And no one ever will
No one
No one
No one at all.
No one can or will go through my sorrow,
My doubt,
My stupidity,
My dark thoughts,
No will ever feel my sadness or my anger.
My devils fought and won.


My former friends may say
“I got you're back.”
“I’m looking out for you.”
“We are your best of friends”
But no I see now.
They aren’t here to save me.
They are here to save their own souls
From excruciating pain.
They don't want to meet the devil.
They wanted celestial glory.
They wanted to be met from death
With trumpets and angels.
If they weren't kind to me,
They wouldn’t make it there.
But now I see.
We are the devil's toys.
We are here to destroy one another.
We are kind and smiling
Until one of us stabs the other.
Than the demons,
Our demons
Take over.


No one could save me but my angels,
But my angels have been sliced of their wings,
Torn from their halos and,
stripped of their glory.
No one can save me.
And no ever will.
No one ever will.
I.
Can.
Not.
Be.
Saved.
Any.
Longer.




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