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Understand

He says,
You don’t understand how much I love people

and I splinter.

I know it’s not an attack
but I want to tear him apart,
you say no one understands but
you couldn’t be more wrong,
I know, I know,
I love them just as much.

I want to say,
You take me just like this
with my wild mind and stumbling walk
and a voice that can take over a room
or shrink in the face of demons
and I can’t give you enough sunlight
to tell you how lucky I am.

So I take you just like this
with your wild hair and a frame too tall
and a laugh that can invite stares
but I can’t love this you if you don’t let me,
if you take too quickly to the possibility
that I’ll someday leave you behind.

I want to say
I’ll put this cup on the table between us,
an offering of
what we could be what we could be
but I don’t even need what we could be
as long as you love who we are.
I hope you care enough to let it stand without breaking
but I hold my head in my hands as it crashes down
not because you don’t care
but because you don’t look hard enough,
blind to the one who knows exactly
how much you love people.

And the cup he swept off the table in a fit of I didn’t mean tos
leaves dust on the floor, splinters on my tongue
so fragile I can’t speak
for fear of leaving trails of blood on his lips

He says,
Sometimes I don’t think people value me as much as I value them

I almost choke on the splinters again

I want to say,
I know exactly what you mean.

My knock is hesitant
so if these humans don’t want me I’ll fade back to shadows,
an outline can’t choke you
it can only let you go
I laugh louder when I know I’m the joke
I hurt because I know I would give too much for them
I’ll tie my hands together so I don’t have the urge
to hold with too tight a grip and pull them down with me.

I want to say,
Sometimes I think people would leave me behind if given the chance
when I know I would leave myself behind if it meant they were free.
I know exactly what you mean.

I want to say,
Please lean back and let me
make these backseat promises,
this doesn’t mean much to you now but
I’ll never give you less.

He says,
You don’t understand how much I love people

I want to say,
You don’t understand how much I understand you.




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