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Perhaps

It's not like it used to be.

We've lost our way, I think.

Or at least you would.

Perhaps it was just me.

 

You don't know me,

And that's ok.

It's not like it matters anyway.

I tell myself I'm fine,

But maybe I'm just fooling myself.

 

I'm the one who stands there.

Quietly begging for your acceptance.

For you to notice me,

But I'm left there.

I find myself getting angry,

Not sure about what,

But I can't hate you.

I just can't.

 

I'm a shadow,

A fragment of what I should be.

I tell myself that I don't want pity,

That others have it worse,

But maybe it's what I deserve.

I'm a pathetic being.

Perhaps I want to disappear?

No.

That's not it.

I want to matter.

Whether it be what others want,

Or not.

 

I want to see you smiling at me.

Laughing with me.

Or even at me.

Yes,

But I don't even have that.

 

I get upset with myself when I hate them,

The ones that make your life better.

Because they wouldn't accept me.

We're too different.

My fleeting dreams would shatter,

And I would lose all hope.

But no matter what I tell myself,

I can't lose my heart,

I can't lose my hope,

I can't lose you.

 

Because I know that if I take one wrong step,

Overstep my boundaries,

Then God forbid,

That you would notice me.




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