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Wondering

Instead of wondering how quick I’ll drown
In my own thoughts
I’m wondering how quick
You’ll fall out of love with me
Wondering when you’ll get
Bored of me
Wondering if you’ll get
Tired of my emotional
Rollercoaster
Wondering how quick
People will start to notice
That
I’m not okay
That I haven’t been okay
For a long time
Wondering how quick people
Will notice that I’m
Replacing my meds
With drugs and alcohol
To hush the demons
Shrieking inside my head
Just for a little longer
Until I find myself at the
Ocean
Not thinking about the peace it brings me
But
Instead wondering how quick I’ll drown




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