Inside me is a darkness

Inside there is lament
Those who know my weaknesses know how to hurt me
I feel pain, and am hurt.
People think they are true winners
But, really they fall in an agonizing world, crushed by evil
I am a horrible person
I feel a true throbbing inside of my head
I am told that I am a failure
Inside me is a darkness
I am angry and irritated
I am mad and angered
Sadness has entered my soul
I am disappointed by the wretchedness of this world
I am bland and dull
Depressed, I sit in place of this sad life
My emotions run wild
I don’t have any control over them
I try not to anger the others
But, I know that they have hated me
I try not to show my eternal rage
I use a monotone voice to hide my frustration
I handle the things I feel horribly
I try to make these things simply myths that I've heard
But, my emotions always find a way out
I am crying on the inside
While I sit here with a smiling face plastered onto my skin
There are people who think they have “defeated” me
I have felt the hurting pain of frustration
I wish that it hadn’t happened
The thing that caused me to want it
To want the things that haunt me
I feel that there is something bigger to my descent into madness
It could go one way or another
They can try and help me, but I may already be gone
Some people have used me
To get away with things, maybe even more than once
They think of me as some small, wimpy being
I don’t know how to come across the others.
I wonder if I am annoying
After all
I’m only human...

...I am weak,
a winner,
but a true failure inside.
I am sad,
disappointed,
and depressed.
I do not know how to handle my emotions.
I sit here hurting.
I want things the way they used to be.
I am a human.