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The Last Hope

By , Troy , MI

I thought the pain would go away,
After I knew he was dead,
I thought I would never feel the same pain,
The pain I felt when he was sick,
Never is a powerful word.


The yellow house,
The one that looks like candy,
The one with sorrow,
Clinging to it’s walls,
The one that holds him in his deathbed.


He had always liked colors,
Bright colors especially,
Though all I see is stormy gray,
And salty tears,
He would have hated that.


I should cry for him,
But I had used up all my tears last night,
When he had died,
Sobbing until my head spun,
And my feet couldn’t hold me up any longer. 


I look down at my boots,
My black boots,
My gray dress,
I don’t want to be part of the stormy gray,
I don’t want to blend in.


I don’t want to be part of this.


The gravel in the parking lot,
Feel like I’m standing on shards of grass,
I drink in the pain,
It distracts me from the knot in my gut,
The knot that will never go away.


Before I can take,
Another daring step forward,
A hand settles over my shoulder,
And a single word is whispered in my ear,
“Hope”.


As I turn around,
My breath is stolen,
And my lungs fight for air,
Behind me is a garden,
The most beautiful garden.

 


Roses,
Bathing in the mist of daybreak,
Their blood red petals,
Slowly floating toward the ground,
It was everything he would have loved.


What really caught my attention,
Wasn't the flowers,
Bending with the wind,
It was my hummingbird,
His symbol.


It floated through the garden,
Slowly but surely,
Floating my way,
It was so close now,
I could almost touch it.


And that's when I realized,
That this was the same bird,
The same bird,
That I wear on a chain around my neck,
It’s metal warming my skin.

 


The same bird,
That would tap it’s beak on his window,
When it’s feeder was empty,
The same bird,
That would entertain his wife in her wheelchair.


Her eyes slowly dulling from disease.


Time seemed to stop,
As the bird and I,
Stared eye to eye,
And I didn't even watch him fly away,
I didn't need to.


Never is a powerful word,
But powerful words,
Are exactly what he deserves,
Never,
Never leaving me. 




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