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Closer

I'm feeling a little shattered by her voice over the phone,
Dripping with the tears of a deep sadness, I
Am so many miles away,
Unreachable, midnight,
Drive, bike, too far, too dark, no light, she
Is my light,
and she's caught in darkness, so
Me and my blindness comfort from afar, I can't see her but I can
Try to speak to show I care, say
Three little words that bring silence,
Happiness,
And the relief of truth and a pause in sadness.


I can't feel this much for someone else,
I can't stand you feeling this pain,
I can't take it away,
I can't write a poem to do this emotion justice,
I can't cure you of self doubt when

Love is the scariest thing I've ever known,

I've known the fear of my uncertain future,
But you make me afraid for someone else
And the newness of my heart in someone else's hands is shattering
No matter how gentle with it you try to be,
This alien feeling of a four letter word that means more than all I can possibly write,
I know poets that write love into a single syllable, but
To me it's an infinity of sharp edges and perfection so
Closely mixed that I cut myself reaching for happiness,
One minute blissful in every way then the next cursing myself for
caring too much,
maybe you care too little,
maybe i'm holding on too tight,
maybe you don't want me in your life,
maybe, maybe, maybe,
This is a wild dance between I can't and I can do anything,
I just need to take one step forward but the step I can't take for fear of a mistake,
I can't lose you, you see i'll say I could for your sake,
but I would break, you wrote something beautiful before I knew you even cared, you
said when you fall in love sometimes you break, and i'd break for you
so you fall light but i'd break for longer than I can imagine right now,
a risk I can't take,
I trust you but I don't trust myself, I
can't do anything right,
including writing something that's not a poem, is this a poem?
I think every few minutes of you and I don't think it's obsession,
but it's close enough to make me feel bad about caring
I've always hoped you might come closer,
and though my arms are around you, hand in your hand,
you aren't close enough
and I feel like I can almost reach you.




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