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Insomnia

I should be happy
I should be able to laugh, to smile
To celebrate a sunrise
Gazing out my window
Watching the colors intertwine together
As my heart and soul used to do
But it’s raining and all I see
Are the streaks of the window
And the grey of the sky
I should be able to enjoy a slice of cake
Swallow each bite, smile on my face
But I can’t taste the dyed frosting
As it passes my lips
I try to turn to you for something
For anything
To look into your eyes and say I love you
How I wish I could mean that
But how do you even know
When you breathe nothing and exhale the same
It is all I feel, all I know
But I should be happy
Because it’s all temporary, they say
They give you your own little room
With nothing to distract yourself
Except to sink into the old couch they provide
As they force the words from your lips
Drilling into your mind for an answer that won’t come
But at the end of the day
I still go home
And sit, looking out that window
Because it’s all there is to see
And pass the cake into my mouth
Because it’s all there is to eat
Because it’s the only thing that’s still there




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