It was white, of course
But it wasn’t that blinding, almost flamboyant shade.
It was softer, subtler
and it cascaded down my body like a beautiful and never-ending waterfall,
crashing to the floor like a million waves, but much more quiet.
I stood on my toes and sucked in my stomach
Waiting for my subconscious to tell me everything that was wrong with my body
everything that was wrong with the dress
everything that was wrong with the way my body looked in the dress;
but it stayed silent.
Everything was quiet and I smiled
because silence and this beautiful dress were all I wanted in that moment.
I met my own eyes in the mirror
and the future came to me:
A future with him
A future with us
A future with this undeniable and uncontrollable love I have for him,
this love that settled its way into my bones and edged itself into my heart
this love that consumes my every thought and action
this love that overwhelms every part of me in a beautifully vulnerable way.
I was looking at the dress
But he was on my mind, and so I thought,