This Is Me

November 5, 2016
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i’ve gotten yelled at,
i’ve been lied to,
i watched someone die,
my cat,
my friend,
my granny,
just because a death is over does not mean closure can be found,
i struggle with anxiety,
because of my anxiety it has become my whole world,
panic disorder, social, and post traumatic the doctors decided,
i was in full distraught half my life
i have lost many friends because of this,
my life lost all of its bliss,
so it seemed,
to a starving teen,
when i was 13,
i was 20 pounds underweight,
i look normal and healthy now,
but just a few years back,
all i had to eat was carrot sticks and celery,
insecure and not alright,
middle school i watched the cool kids rule,
i sat alone at lunch,
getting smirks from the popular bunch,
i suffer from OCD,
everything has to be perfect or i feel sick to the knees,
so many have left me,
i just want to cry,
but at the end of my sobbing and writing,
i realize i can survive and fight my inside torture,
with the help and support from no one other than me,
forcing myself to believe.

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