Paradox

One second a day

one day a second

life goes on forever

life went by fast

too much time wasted

not enough time to waste

one second a day

one day a second

 

enough is enough

but there is never enough

we need nothing

we need everything

give more

take more

enough is enough

but there is never enough

 

we conquer fear

fear conquers us

fear nothing

fear everything

protect me

but who'll protect you

we conquer fear

fear conquers us

 

friendship lasts forever

but forever does end

love is eternal

but eternity is is temporary

everyone is with us

but we are truly alone

friendship lasts forever

but forever does end

 

one second a day

one day a second

enough is enough

but there is never enough

we conquer fear 

fear conquers us

friendship is forever

but forever does end






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ambivalentThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 14, 2016 at 10:03 pm
The last two lines are my favorite. They gave me shivers!! Your poem is very abstract; I think it might help to use some imagery or description - something you can see, you know? Writing poems with mostly abstract nouns (ex. time, friendship, fear) is very challenging. Overall, good job, and keep writing!
 
definitionoflifeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 15, 2016 at 12:33 pm
Thank you.
 
emmichaels said...
Nov. 14, 2016 at 1:10 pm
I thought your poem was incredibly interesting, and very honest. I'm not sure if you were looking for feedback or not, but I've decided to enclose some anyways :) Simply change your words around. Use spicy adjectives to liven up your writing. Instead of forever, you could use eternal. I do, however, see that you are using recurring words obviously for the style of the poem, and don't find you need adjectives completely. Just try to spice things up a bit. Some grammatical, easily fixed errors we... (more »)
 
definitionoflifeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 14, 2016 at 1:20 pm
Thank you.
 
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