Crooked Soul

November 1, 2016
By sophschwartz GOLD, Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
sophschwartz GOLD, Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The fight between darkness and light has been won
The good wolf inside me craves, love, affection, and warmth,
But famished it has starved to death
And thus I have been consumed by the darkness.
I have resigned myself to the malevolent wolf that is filled with anger, pain, and malice
Now I am a slave to myself,
Controlled by my inner demons like a puppet to its master,
Pain flows through my veins, spreading the venom to every aspect of my body.
The pain rots my bones, poisons my heart, and numbs me.

My heart has shriveled up, and even time cannot repair the damage of a broken heart.
For the wounds that the others have inflicted are too deep to heal.
Their bitterness towards me, the words they use as weapons to attack me,
Have distinguished the fire of hope within me
My inner flame has flickered out, and left me in darkness,
The embers no longer burn, but the ashes of my burned dreams haunt me everyday. 
Like I have been abandoned in a tunnel, yet there is no light at the end. 
The horrors of my past haunt me and I am trapped in a reoccurring nightmare 

I am a rose without water,
Slowly dying from the inside out.
My thrones act as a barrier that protect me from my enemies that walk the earth.
I have built up walls around me and burnt down the bridges I built that connected me to the outside world.

The walls I have built have failed me now.
Rejecting both hate and love,
I am trapped alone with nothing but my fears and the anger that I have tried so hard to repress.
Being only human I can’t keep it in,
I have tried to bear the weights of my pain, but I have been shackled to these chains for too long.
And I have snapped.
Like a caged lion,
I lash out and I roar because I can’t keep it in.

I am a storm,
I release my raindrops in a flood of tears,
My thunder claps and booms and my lighting strikes the earth in my episodes of rage
But no matter how many times it rains, I know that this is not the last storm to come.
In the end when the sky has cleared, I am still without light,
For I will never escape the darkness

They have stolen so much from me, my voice, my hope, my freedom, my life.
I have done nothing to them, but what I can not control;
My skin color makes me different, my skin color makes me weak.
I am a bird that has been stripped of it’s wings.
Deprived of my freedom and my only way to escape.
I try to fly away but I am dragged down
down by my chains,
The chains that shackle me to this life of pain, this life of eternal suffering.

I am different, a puzzle piece that will never fit.
They refuse to accept me for who I am,
So I accept the darkness as my home,
And I put on my suit of armor to prepare for a fight I don’t have in me.

I am a black man without a voice,
Walked on like a doormat
Their shoes, jagged with spiked bottoms, have shredded my insides. 
Their footprints are imprinted on the soul they trample, the soul they crush.
That soul is my soul.
I have no voice to scream, no voice to object,
For I am nothing and I have no one.

The author's comments:

Inspired by a class assignment, told from the emotional prespective of Crooks from "Of Mice and Men".  

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