The Crimson Feeling Comes from a Blade

October 4, 2016

Some say the color represents love.
Some say it’s the color of sexiness.
Others say it’s passion or deep empathy.
And yet the only thing universally crimson….is thick flowing blood.

Is love meant to hurt?
Are lovers meant to bleed?
Is passion meant to crumble?
Are lovers hearts meant to corrode?

They ask why someone would end it all by stabbing themselves…there are easier, less painful ways to do it… yes…that’s true…but I think I know why it’s the best option…
The only honorable way to commit suicide (Even though there really isn’t one with any amount of honor) is stabbing yourself…
because this way, you can watch all the passion you have left drain away…?you watch all the things you love literally seep out of your flesh.
You see the pain, as you feel it….
You feel the love, as you see it.
It hurts…but you know it should.

That’s what love is now…
A weapon made to destroy us.
A labyrinth made to trap us.
A cage meant to contain us.

It’s comfortable, though, is it not? To be held by something as warm as love….as something as cold as love kills you slowly? You aren’t alone….but you are lonely.
They are right in front of you, whispering the words ‘I love you’….but those same words become daggers once they hit your heart.

“You lied…”
Yeah… and you knew they would…but you let them do it anyway because you thought you couldn’t live without them. That was your choice…
Death or death inside.

You took a risk and like every other person who gambled with their heart…. you got a losing hand.

She tore up his heart with a blade and whispered words of beauty; poems of passion; as she did it. Her words may have said ‘I’ll bring you joy’ but all we can hear in our heads is her blade screaming ‘DEVASTATION.’
He ripped out her heart with his own hands and kissed her the whole time, filling her mouth with what she thought was kindness and loyalty. His lips may have said ‘I’ll protect you…’ but all we can hear in our heads is his hands screaming ‘INFIDELITY.’

The crimson of love covered his heart as the crimson of hate covered his body.
The crimson of trust covered her heart as the crimson of lies covered her body.

was it worth it…
just to feel that crimson feeling wash over you for those few moments when it almost felt real?
Was it worth it to feel that crimson feeling be the only thing you could feel for a second in time?
Was it worth it to have your life not be such a bad price for something as trivial as an emotion just because of how great it felt? Even if it was all a lie….?

Was it worth it to hear those three tainted words, just for an hour, seem pure?

kissing in the rain?
holding hands?
smiling in the fear because I know you are here?
stabbed in the back?
exchanging lies?
laughing in the tears because I know you were never really here…..?

….maybe it was worth it….

Maybe it was…

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