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Often

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Often times I find myself wondering,
Wondering if I'm good enough
Because I don't find myself very appealing to others.

And I know people say:
"You shouldn't care what others think"
But how can you not?
Your whole future is determined by your mental capacity
And judgement by others
And if you're the kind of person who seems depressed all the time,
Then people will take you the wrong way 
Like they always do in this world based off of stereotypes.

You can't learn from your mistakes,
If everyone is always trying to push you 6 feet under
I'm not saying you're depressed
I'm just saying that the world is cruel and unfair
And nothing will always go your way.

We all have our ups and downs
And many of us aren't quite sure how to get back up
Which causes us to beat ourselves up
Scarring our vandalized bodies like a wet pen drawn to paper,
Etching the solemn notes of pain upon ourselves,
Crying.

I don't want to be like that,
But most times
I just want to break down,
Let my heart strings bleed the blues.
I never knew life was so heart shattering.

I thought the light was supposed to help me find my way
But it’s only a flash and is gone in an instance
I've got nowhere to go
Lost forever in a painted mirror,
Torn between two paradoxes.

Alone
But I know there's hope
I'll find a way
I'll make it out alive
Today
Tomorrow
Forever.
Someday,
In the sea of stars.




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