Forest Fire

September 26, 2016
By , Alton, IL

Before Her, I didn’t care. I did but I didn’t.
Before Her, i didn't show my feelings at.
Nor did i care about anyone else’s.
But here i am, clenching my hands so hard that it’s leaving scars. Clenching my hands because her dad is being an a** to her and her brothers. Clenching my hands because she doesn’t think she’s good enough but in reality, she’s better. But you know, anything that will replace me telling her that she means the world to me will do.
Somehow I’m here hoping and wishing that she won’t leave me. Before her, I was prepared for others to leave. I had my guard up at all times.
She walked into my life and so did internal happiness.
She unexpectedly walked into my life and there it was,
The walls of protection over my heart, went crashing down.
I'm so vulnerable.
I’m not broken, I’m nothing.
I’m nothing.
           How do i tell her that who she’s messing with is dangerous? How do i tell her that
       just like my parents telling me to stay away from  fire, I told myself to stay away from love.
I still went around fire, I’ll still love her.
I’d give anything to be burnt by her.
Her love is like a forest fire and i'm the kid,
Running towards it in curiosity.
How do i tell her that the reason why i haven’t been able to sleep is because sooner or later, i won't be able to sleep while she’s sleeping with someone else. Like the hand thing that she does to me, she's doing to another person.
At the same time, I’m choking.
I’m being choked by the nonexistence of her hands.
                    I’m freaking out because i can’t tell the future and these thoughts are killing me
She told me to go a therapist but honestly, her love and reassurance is my therapy.
This feeling inside of me is like no other;
How do i tell her that i love her?

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