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Looks That Kill

It all starts when we're young, it watches us grow, with our big bright eyes and hearts of gold

Its not all our fault, you know?
The way we shove our bruising fingers down our burning, tightening throats
Its not all that fun, you know?
The way we wear baggy clothes to hide our visible bones and they way we paint our nails to hide the yellowish tint

They all solemnly swear we're pretty, they all reassure us we're handsome, but when we see our reflections, all we get are false perceptions and tiny, distant glimpse of how healthy we used to be – soft skin, bountiful hair

We can't always fight back, you know?
It cuffs our tight as it slithers down our fragile, thinning bodies
Our tongues are tied as its selfishly devouring our insides, slowly nibbling away at our sanity
Suddenly, we get the spinning, sinking, floating, dizzy feeling
Its happening again, our appetites are gone again, we're passing out again
We can't ever block it out, you know?
Its always on a spin cycle in our clouded, confused heads
Forcefully, its building a home in our collapsing veins, it wants to be loved in the most unromantic way
Its not tragically beautiful,
We're not silly kids who occasionally skip meals – we're starving
We're hungry, we're cold, we're shaking, and tired
We're not glamorously damaged – we're sick
We have a disease – its a wicked, haunting, daunting, unforgiving disease
. . .and it suffocates me
. . .and me
. . .and me

Its still with us when we're old, it won't let us go, or dull, sad eyes and mouths filled with lies

Its just not that easy, you know?
To recover
To “just eat”
To “open your eyes”
Its not over, no, not this time

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