4 Words of Misconception

September 24, 2016
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The first time i heard "baby i love you"
at the root of those words were a man,
The man of whom id love forever.
His  words were a concert wall,
present but unresponsive.
Daddy was the first love of my life,
the first "baby i love you."

When you recited these words to me,
they were like fire to purity..
beautiful lies.
Beautiful lies slithering through the dark,
like vines holding a warning sign
but still offering welcoming arms.
Warm and fulfilling
yet cold and heartless,
proceed with caution.

Although i proceeded
not with very much caution,
i began my journey of delusion.
This deception was appealing,
yet a blessing within a curse.
They say best friends tell each other secrets.
Retrogression seemed to be my best friend,
and heart breaks seemed to be our secrets.
Pouring out was like sleeping in on a school day,

My best friend seemed to burden me more than likely,
and time was telling me that i needed to be independent.
I depended on those very 4 words of misconception,
confiding in them coming from your very lips.
Those same lips that are consistently irresistible.
Difficult not to connect with,
and crucial to go without for too long.

But yet i let the real focus escape my thoughts,
yearning for the fullness.
Daddy's words were beginning to fade,
the concrete wall wearing down...
falling apart.
Lost was I like a stray pet,
finding its way back home.
Except i never found my home,
i became a leaf in the wind bound to stick to anything.

Inner peace was a connection I failed to obtain,
1 million thoughts per second.
Trapping the person i once knew as myself,
inside of mixed emotions
trying to find a home.
I progressed into an endless fire,
forever burning.
Boggled by what others may call pain.

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