September 21, 2016
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Memories of homes.
Driving by, knowing for a moment the paint has been covered
the holes have been covered
the stains have been covered
the record of my existence has been covered.
Memories of friends.
Promising to keep in touch, lying through my teeth.
Trying to forget old friends, never quite able to.
Wanting to go back to before, but reality not consenting.
Memories of feelings.
Happy, soaring feelings like backyard spaceships and massive ice cream cones.
Angry, breathless feelings like “But he hit me!” and “I’m not crying”.
Quiet, motionless feelings like extended jokes shared with mom and hours spent alone.
Memories of memories.
Looking back, searching for stability.
Everything changing and fear of letting go.
Worn out, dog-eared recollections of better times.
Slowly fading to white.
Faces, bedrooms, desserts, jokes, innocence, memories.
Replaced by a void.

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