I Remember 6th Grade by Nyx

September 17, 2016
By , Columbus, OH

Do you remember 6th grade?
6th grade was, Justin Bieber, One direction… Lady Gaga
It was the wrong shade of lipstick, applying unnecessary amounts of blush to cheeks that didn’t need it-with a foundation brush,
6th grade was my first “date”,
My first “boyfriend”,
My first insincere ‘I love you’ (that I thought I meant… but I was 11…)
6th grade was Uh- oh! I don’t think I just like boys…
6th grade was Uh-oh! I don’t think I’m a girl…!
6th grade was uh-oh! I got my first anti-depressant.
Which made me feel a happiness for a couple weeks before I crashed into a state-
Of emotional flatness.
6th grade was my first time self-harming,
And when I started, I told myself that it was temporary, but like so many other things that are human-
The habit turned into a monster.
6th grade was so many firsts, and within those, was my first suicide attempt.
I took 6 pills, before I started screaming for my mom.
MOM, MOM, MOM- she came thundering up the stairs.
I DID SOMETHING BAD. I motioned to the pills on the floor,
She told me to throw them up
I said I didn’t want to.
She asked if I really needed to go to the hospital, I said I didn’t know
She drove me halfway then turned around because she felt it just wasn’t worth it.
6th grade was writing my first poems,
It was the shabbiest make shift group of poems-
But I was so proud,
I had no clue what I was writing yet but…
The college students who were teaching the mini lesson,
Told me that my poetry was the start of something great-
And I didn’t know it at the time but it turned into a crutch that took away all my pain,
And somehow made it beautiful.
6th grade was fear,
For I was growing up,
The people around me were changing so fast I couldn’t keep up,
I was stuck in my glory days of 3rd grade-
And they were ready for big kid things.
I remember 6th grade,
I remember new teachers, friends, goals for myself.
I remember when it all began.

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