I'm always messing things up

and throwing "I love you" around

as if someone would say it back

and actually mean it.

This year I've learned that

"I miss you" only means "I have no one else right now, so I'm going to pretend you still mean something to me."

it's gotten kind of old,

but of course I still believe it

because we both know deep down

I still have hope for you and I.

I'm kind of pathetic really,

with my poetic soul and music filled heart.

I feel a little too much.

Writing is my happy place.

You used to be my happy place,

but now you're gone

and it's taught me that you can't put your happiness in other people's hands.

That's a dangerous combination;

hearts and hands,

cause hands were only ever meant to hold things momentarily, not forever.