It's always me

Why is it me that's faces all the misery
I try to smile with the energy that I have
But I'm always broken down for
With no little reasons
I cry all the time but hurts to hide

When it's all dark I just close my eyes
Think about it all
Think about what I've been through
From the past,
You make it no better therefore
I cry my eyes out until I can't anymore

Try to cry silent so I won't breath anymore
My hearts pounding because I can hear
You're laugh , praying to God that
You won't beat me anymore
Won't have the courage to slap me anymore

I ran away once before because I just couldn't
Take it , but you say it's my fault
Chose drugs instead of a happy life
Miserable in your old lies
Telling people that you're almost dying

I deal with it all but I'm only 18
Stuck in this house, like I'm in prison
But have the mentality of a Cinderella
I clean up everything and you mess it all up
I have no social life because I'm always locked up

Why is it me tell me what have I done
You paint this picture thinking it's all okay
Get on the phone having people feel pity
Yet I'm in the background " do you need anything"
I answer to your calls but I just pray to God
Take me away so I won't live this life

My dad is my savior from time to time came to rescue
When he heard me crying,
I just wish one day I can escape again
For good this time and not have to worry.

I remember the time you choked me
And threw me to the wall
Knocked my head so hard I forgot about it all
Abused me until red became dots from my nose
Abused me again until red was a river
Abused me until I had slashes on my back
I had to cover it up so no one will ask

You made a fool of me now I look silly
Embarrassed me to others but they had no words
Covered up the situation like it never even happened
I put a different face everyday depending on the night
But instead I just live in fright.