August 15, 2016
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Words can’t be band-aids,
but you say sorry anyways.
There’s a bruise on my heart
like a footprint on the moon,
I am not something to be conquered,
so put down your flag.


Loving isn’t easy,
but lying is,
and hearts were never made to listen.
Sorries are weightless,
and maybe I’m not a part of you
like you are of me,
but I’ll still pretend I’m a princess
because one time you told me so,
and I’ll still try to hold your hand
to go back to the one time I understood you,
and I’ll still try to leave
but your grip is hard to shake.


Arms shouldn’t be cages.
One time they weren’t.
There is a world of should have beens in my mind,
of a past where you put down your guard,
and a future where I meant something.


Dates shouldn’t be difficult,
opening doors shouldn’t be like
stepping into Hell
why do you not love me
when I only asked for you,
why do you not love me
when that’s all I’ve ever done,
why do you not love me
when you said you would,


There’s another girl
and another you,
smiles drawn on,
your eyes are dead,
who are you,
I slam my door
because I don’t talk to strangers.

I still cry,
because hearts were never made to listen.
You still call later,
because you left your tangerine muffler in my bottom drawer.
My hands still tremble
because there’s a bruise on my heart
where you touched it,
minds can forget but
bodies never will,
hearts never will,
I know I never will,
and I hate myself for it.


I will fill up a jar
with shards of the past
and put it on the top shelf of my pantry.
My reflection in the mirror will still be me,
you will be the half of the photo I cut out,
my bruised heart will beat inside my rib cage
and you won’t break me anymore
because the duct tape on my soul won’t let you.


My tears right now are the
last things i’ll ever give you.

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