pleasantly confused

August 11, 2016

Trying to mask my pain with pleasure is another deadly, drastic measure I choose to take,

to separate myself from my tedious mistakes.

Although I bargain and try to control them,

My demons bleed out, leaving me soulless.

Not the cold, empty kind,

But one that still I can feel.

I yell for help,

yet nobody can notice

the struggles I face every day-

I’m losing myself-

I’m fading away.

Happily I sit in silence,

Knowing nobody, not even god, knows where my mind is,

And I like it that way.

Quiet is my sanctuary and my sanity is the small price I pay,

I’ll take that over being brainwashed and deluded by society,

Any day.

Although I feel broken, torn and used,

still here I am,

pleasantly confused.

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