High School

August 5, 2016
By Cassidy44 BRONZE, Orangevale, California
Cassidy44 BRONZE, Orangevale, California
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I am so tired.
I wrote forty essays, took a 3.5 hour test, survived a corrupt system, and that’s all not good enough.
Because there’s too much stuff,
Not enough time.
No matter what you do, how hard you work, just get in line,
Because someone, somewhere is better.

Writing letters,
“Look what I can do!”
Rubbing it in my face, “You could be this good, too,
If only you would conform
Stick to the norm
You’ll get four years and a dorm”
A worthy prize I guess for someone who cares only about looking the best.

I am so tired of being told,
“You’re not good enough,
Not special,
They’ll never want you,
I’m the best”
But what about being MY best?
What ever happened to doing what you do, giving it your all, trying to get up after you fall, and letting God handle the rest?

I’m so tired of living in a world where my best is lesser than your best,
Just because I like to spend my time
And my dime
Trying to make words rhyme and
You walk around like it’s a crime
To love something other than success!
To you, it’s about the test,
2400 Super score, 35 out of 36
Trust me I want it, too!

But what I want more,
Is to wake up one day
And live in a place where they say, “Good job for being different.
For not resume padding,
And online chatting;
For dealing with the crowds, I know it can be maddening.
Thank you for being you,
And trying to help the world
Instead of caring about your school’s name,
And the fortune and fame,
And your name up in lights”
Conforming and transforming, the never ending fight

I’m tired of being in a place where
There’s one right way and it’s man’s way,
Not God’s way;
Where white is better,
And men are richer,
And sick means dead because you have nothing left,
Where one is advanced and millions left behind
To fight for one spot
And be of one mind.
But is that mind the one we want?
College is king and the only bells that ring
Are the ones for class.
So sit down and be in the mass
Of kids headed for one place,
No knowledge,
No empathy,
Just a number on a paper, a GPA,
A grade, their whole world is wrapped up in one stupid letter,
And somehow they’re BETTER
Than I?!

I’m tired!
So I’m gonna stop studying for the day,
Put the books away,
And do what I love:
Read, write, math, all of the above.
But not for a grade, I’ll do it to learn.
I’ll swim, I’ll sing, I’ll dance around the halls and have some childish fun.
I’ll help someone because God says to, not because colleges pat me on the back
Or schools say well done.
I’ll open the doors and look outside.
I’ll be a person, stop hiding inside and waiting for college to come.
What’s after that, anyways?
What’ll we obsess over then?
Having a perfect job, perfect kids,
Living to be perfect is not living, it’s not breathing.
It’s dying slowly, feeling lonely,
Because a grade, a paycheck, an award can’t keep you company.

I’m so tired
Of feeling second best, so I’m not gonna compete against them anymore.
Because God has something in store
For me, to be free from this,
And step into a life where others want to cure cancer to help people
Not to say “I did it first”.
I want to look around and see a world I’m proud of and I’ll fight to help,
Not one that’s lop sided
With greed, collided
With speed
Into an abyss of me me me
I want to wake up and hear a bell that reminds me of music,
Not school!
Let’s go to the park, the pool,
Get outside and forget what Yale wants and Harvard says!
For today,
Let’s be ourselves instead. 


The author's comments:

Reading all the college prep books was just so overwhelming and it made me realize that my worth was stripped down to the quantitative aspects on my college app. It feels strange that we put so much stock into this and that it takes up so much time. I understand the merits of attending a prestigious college, but sometimes it feels more like an opportunity to brag than it does a chance to get a good education. This work is a pretty accurate representation of how I feel about the system: confused, disappointed, and unsure of my future. I hope this encourages other students to speak their mind about the system we were raised in so that it may one day be made better.


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