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A Letter To A Former Love


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Hey...

 

It's been two years since the beginning...
It's been one since the end...
I felt defeated for only a short while... At least on the surface it was short...
But after a whole year since we parted ways...
I realize that I finally feel at peace.

 

We had quite a run, you and I.
Almost a year, we went about our lives together, our fates intertwined.
It felt so good to be bad, the excitement calmed me, and when I had you around it only made me miss you more.
But like the seasons, every beautiful summer must fall, and the harsh winter sets in, before we spring into our futures.
Our individual futures.

 

I look back to when we were together, sometimes.
Not as much as I used to, but I still do.
I try to weave through the memories to find the moments of calm and peace, but there's too many to go through.
Too many memories from such a short while.
But as time moves on, I remember less and less.
This year, I forgot that it was the anniversary of the end.
It's a strange mixture of guilt and satisfaction when I remembered what I forgot...
A paradox of emotion, all the way through.

 

I realize that maybe we weren't the most normal of couples back then.
We moved a bit fast, we had a bit too much fun,
We looked to the future while still trying to live in the moment.
Our beginning, middle, and even our ending was unconventional, to say the least.
Then again, neither of us could really be called 'Conventional', could we?

 

...

 

I had met someone.
She was nice, you would have liked her.
A woman of the stage, with a name of music.
She was nothing like you were.
Not that I could tell anyway.
She was a nice change, from what I've had before.
A new enviroment, a new persona, a new me, a new world...

 

Like they say, history repeats itself.
One day she was there, and the next day...
She was gone.
Disappeared into the wind...

 

But it was for the best, I think.
I realized how poorly we fit together, after she was gone.
We were two pieces, trying to fit together in the cosmic puzzle,
But we were on opposite sides of the board.
I realized that I was becoming desperate.
I felt like I didn't need The One,
But that I would just settle for Some One...
Any one...
It was a need, a desire for...
What do you call it?
Intimacy?
Oh well, it is not important now...

 

I've finally realized that I don't need,
Not just The One, or even just Some One,
I don't NEED, Any One.
I don't need another person to make myself happy.
I can just be happy for myself,
And if The One simply finds me...
Then I will allow it to happen.
I will not strain myself to find another person.
Not anymore...

 

I'm getting off topic, my apologies.

 

All in all, times are good.
I'm happy, and I hope that you are too.


...


I'm sorry for not visiting when you came back.
I... I was selfish... Through and through...
You were grieving, and on the surface I said that I didn't want to interrupt your process...
But underneath...
It may have been subconsciously,
But I knew, I knew that I was getting better,
That I was actually moving on,
And that if I actually saw you again,
If we actually met face to face again...
I thought that if I saw you, that I'd have to start over...
And I can't do that...
Not again...

 


No...
No, no, I can't send that-
Scratch that, scratch all of that!
I'll just have to start over!
Ahem...

 

 

Hey...

It's been a while since we properly talked.
I just wanted to see how you've been.
I look forward to hearing back from you.
Bye, Des...




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