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seething

it's over. it's the end of the line.

call me fake all you want, but i'm real, and i'm hurting.

 

you always liked everyone else more than me. you always treated me like crap.

i gave you the world. i gave you my goddamn everything, and what do i get back?

hatred,

ignorance,

unloyalness,

stupidity,

anger,

criticism,

and everything terrible in between.

 

if you always hated me so much, why didn't you just say it to my face? why did you bother telling everyone else in this world, if you're so much better than me? are you afraid of me?

 

i guess i was just your stepping stone. always there to hold you up, but never really noticed me. you took me for granted.

one day, i'll slide out from under your feet, and you'll fall. right now, i'm leaving my spot in the river. you'll see. but even if you come crawling back to me from the depths of the water, dripping and crying for mercy, i will always turn you away. you lost your chance. i'm not going to change myself for you ever again.

 

i never needed you to live, and i'm not sure if you ever needed me. but the one thing i am sure of is that i never broke under your weight, even when you wore me out to be as weak and sensitive as a book of mica.

 

i can tear out your chapter from the book of my life. it never did me any good.

 

you made fun of me. you lied to me. you lied about me. you criticized my every move. you hurt me. you ignored me. you silenced my voice. you caused my tears. you never supported me. you were never there for me. you were the death of me.

 

there was aways someone or something that was worth more than i was, 

and you let me know that.

you didn't need me,

and you let me know that.

 

all this time wasted on you.

all these tears, left wet by  you.

all this negativity, spat out by you.

all these years, stuck in an ignorant daze, following your trail, wanting to be known.

 

well guess what?

i woke up.

and i can see you clearly.

i can see right through your whittled stump of lies.

and my first real words, i will speak today.

 

get out of my life.

 

i don't even need to say your name for you to know who you are. it melts off my tongue in the heat of my anger and burns into your mind.

 

i'll make it written in blood, the blood that we swore our friendship on, that i don't want you in my life anymore.

i hate you.

 

you broke the promise, and it can't be repaired.

 

no love at all, severely insincerely,

 

your ex-friend.




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maol1 said...
Jul. 30 at 11:19 pm
@socialkaysualty--I could really feel your pain in this piece. I have been in a similar situation in the past with someone I thought was a good friend. As I got older, I realized that I gave my friend the power to make me feel less than (as opposed to her doing all this bad stuff to me). Keep growing!
 
socialkaysualtyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 10:42 am
thank you so much; it means a lot. i'm glad i'm not alone :)
 
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