In self defense I turn,

to set the fields aflame

to wallow in the ash

to end the greatest game.

Say, what should I have done

after you dealt your blow?

For shame, I believed when

you said: you alone know.

You alone know of pain,

you alone, of sorrow

while I alone carried

the blame. And come each new

yesterday, each morrow

I felt my world in flames.

Would you have demanded

I turn a blind eye if

you were truly my friend?

What true friend could ignore

the suffering that

drummed against my head?

Where was the one I could

count on, when life was a

drowning sea? You stood

beyond my reach, drowning

us and drowning me.

For you, for you, please take

the lot! I beg of you:

take all of me. I did

not fake my devotion.

I believed I was free.

Yet

In self defense I must turn

and to my mind stay true.

Best friend, newest stranger:

it cannot all be for you.