I’ve already lost him.

It was not sudden,
Not the wave of a wand.
But slowly,
And quietly,
He crept out the window
And into the night.

Wasn’t I the one
Who was better for him
Than all the others
He could have had?

Didn’t I listen,
And didn’t I love?
Didn’t I give myself,
And understand him still?
What happened to us?

What happened to me?

The problem is tricky,
For the person I am
Is both better and worse
Than I used to be.

The better me
Has grown on her own,
Through tiring experience
And observation.

The lesser me,
Grew alongside him,
Desperately hoping
To be good enough.

And the lesser parts
Have caused in us
A force that pushes hard enough
That we really, simply, just cannot help
But grow farther,
Farther,
Farther apart.

Because the fog
Wore off
And we see each other
For everything that’s real,

Not for the lovesick
Fools
We used to be.

No longer improving
One another,
But scraping our flesh
On the other’s bone
When we touch,
When we laugh,
When we speak.

And Just because
We love someone
Does not make it
Healthy.

See, just because
We feel happy,
Doesn’t mean
It’s right.

He and I,
Losing spark
And killing ourselves,
Wondering where it went wrong.

Slowly unthreading,
Losing love.