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I Wrote for You

she was writing you a poem
but then she accidentally deleted it
and she got
anxious
and mad at self
and bit her nails down
again

so she's going to write you another one
because the first one was sad
and then you get sad
even though she doesn't intend for it to be sad
she doesn't want you sad

it was about how planes and the nighttime
f*** her up
because the silver bullets leave her
too much
space
between you and her
and the night leaves too much
time
to think about why she left without you
and will soon have
to leave you
behind

and she wrote about how
when the pilot talks in the speakers
she pauses her music
and replaces that voice
with yours

and she wrote for you about how
the little girls and the little boys
grin when the plane lands
because they'll see minnie and mickey tomorrow
and how when the plane lands
the parents brace themselves
for meltdowns

and then
she wrote about how she hopes your words will ring true
the ones where you two
tell each other
that you hope to all
ends of the earth
that fate would be so gracious as to
intertwine
her life with yours again

and then maybe
your voice will tell her that its
safe
to move about the cabin

and then maybe
your voice will say that we are starting the descent
and then she will look over
and leila will wear the same grin
our baby will wear our grin
and she’ll clap her hands because
daddy is flying the plane thats
taking them to see minnie and mickey
and mommy has her new baby brother
in her tummy

she wrote for you
that the golden days don't have to be over
dont ever stop giving me apple cherry kisses
and of course ill help you run away

she wrote for you
f*** you
dont show me another song that sings
forgive me for giving up

she wrote for you
screw you
don't you dare give up on
something we both fought so hard for
dont you dare

she asked you if you remember the song that said
i know you love me
i am loving you more
and she recalls when you
slipped that pretty melody into her ears
that was right before she told you she loved you

she said i think i love you
because she thought you'd get scared
but she knew she loved you and
she knew you'd be scared

but darling
she wrote
there is nothing to fear about love
ours in particular

the only fear this love holds
is the scare
of having no love at all
or not holding you
my luv

she wrote for you
i was unlucky
i had glimpses of lucky but
never for too long
but when i saw you i became
forever lucky
and she told you to never leave her
unlucky and to never leave her
standing alone and she told you to
never leave her
alone

she wrote about how
she didn't want to be standing on
earth that was so different
from the earth you stood on

she wrote about how the night gives her too much
time
to think about why she left without you and
why
the odds are against us

are the odds really against them though?

she also wrote about
something else
sad

she wrote for you
about how she thinks the children’s books are wrong
about the monsters in the closet
because the monsters are the night
not in the night

she says she would rather have a
nightmares
than feel nothing at all
she knows you know she hates
the night
she just wanted to tell you again

she wrote for you that she's
scared
to live without you
because it doesn't
feel right
without you
by her side

she doesn't want you to be sad
just wait until the poem is over to feel
she wants you just to read

you see
she tried to write the poem again
but her nails were bit so short that
they began
to sting
she knew you would be sad
and she doesn't want that
so she wrote about something happier
she writes a whole
brand new poem
she writes about “us”

she writes for you
about how she doesn't regret
a single precious moment

she writes about
how she loves you the way she
loves the sun
she looks for the sun every place that she is

she looks for you every place that she is
she swears
she’ll see a glimpse
of her baby
but that person doesn't have the right
hair color
or the right anything

she thinks that your love is equivalent to the
warmth the sun brings her
because although you cant always see the sun
its always there
and even though you cant always feel the sun
its always there

she loves the way
your pupils dialate
when they focus on her
every color of eyeball is
in one of his eyes


she writes about how she doesn't ever want
to stop writing for you

and she writes about how
she doesn't ever want to
stop loving you

she told me to tell you that she won't
ever stop writing for you
and she will love you for
forever, as she promised




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