Umbrella World

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Though thunder roars and rolls across the darkened sky,
and flashes of light tear the midnight in half,
I lift my face to the rain
and smile as my worries puddle at my feet.
I wish everyone would stop for a moment
and put away their umbrellas.






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Stifling_Darkness said...
Aug. 7, 2016 at 11:56 pm
This is beautifully simple. As is rain, so it makes sense that it would be written like so. The diction in this is incredibly fitting. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing. If you could check out my work and comment, it would be appreciated. Thanks!
 
kingfisher316 said...
Jul. 24, 2016 at 4:06 pm
You have a way with words, given that you only needed a few to express such depth and feeling! I love how you pool all of your emotion into one simple and natural occurrence: rain. It's brilliant in a rather classical and understated sort of way
 
syleepandora said...
Jul. 22, 2016 at 5:36 pm
I definitely think that the alliteration in the first line was artistic. The poem also conveyed a meaningful message— great work!
 
anonymous06This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 22, 2016 at 8:56 am
Incredible imagery! Short and sweet= beautiful.
 
mimi.k said...
Jul. 22, 2016 at 1:41 am
Dense with beautiful meaning- I wouldn't change a thing. Poignant. Keep it up!
 
LadyPhoenix said...
Jun. 26, 2016 at 12:07 am
I really like the sort of lyrical cadence this has, and the imagery is very effective. Continue writing!
 
Pattyricia said...
Jun. 21, 2016 at 8:16 pm
This is really good. I wish you would've written more; it would've been nice to read.
 
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