this is the place my colleague said I would like

and he is right

the apartment is spacious and the walls are cool blue so I don't have to repaint

the woodpanel floors are scrubbed clean of any past memories

and no mold grows anymore

my darling, you would have liked it a lot

there is a window that opens to the street and sometimes I eavesdrop into other people's lives

and I find connections between you and them, I'm ashamed to admit, but New Yorkers are all characters, and you certainly were one

you are the woman feeding the pigeons in the park,

the mother with three toddlers and an infinitely tired look,

the elderly man with a cane dropping coins for a young boy to find with delight

you are still alive, still with me after all these years

I am still breathless by how you are everywhere