In order to truly understand me, you must look outside and focus on the little things; the ant crawling across the hot sidewalk, the bird flying low over the trees, and the faint smell of the perfume clinging to my orange hoodie. 

In order to really get me, you have to enjoy eating tomatoes with salt, love anything with potatoes, and you have to believe that everything happens for a specific reason in your life.

In order to genuinely know me, you have to listen to the arguents that my family has, you have to watch my past, you have to read the things I've written, and you'd have to imagine the things that I have drawn.

In order to dig into the grab bag of my mind, you have to think about what you are going to do this weekend, how you are going to get your next pack of cigarettes, or what you will eat when you walk in your front door at home.

So you want to know me? You should talk to my family about how sympathetic I am, how I say "like" way more than necessary, and how I pack as much detail into everything as I possibly can.

You have to know that I have a past, as we all do, and that I have already been through a lot by the young age of 16. You have to know that I love driving through town, just for the fact that I can drive the streets of the town that I grew up in.

In order to hate what I hate, you must walk away from those who consistently interrupt you, listen to music whenever you hear punding from the upstairs neighbors, and you must hate the looks some people give you for your actions.

To fear what I fear, you must run from clowns, you must scream at spiders, and you must cringe at the words moist, ointment, and panties. You must look behind you every time you run up the stairs, so you know you aren't being followed.

To smile when I smile, you must listen to the endless amount of inside jokes my friends have created, you have to smile when that one special song has to randomly come onto the radio station you are listening to, and you must love unconditionally.

To know what I know, you must walk inside of my shoes. You must see what I have been through, and you must try to understand how and why I reacted the ways I did, even if you have negative thoughts about me at that time.

That nothing in this world is more hilarious than the short videos me and my brother made when we were smaller children, the random conversations that start up with new people, and the strange songs you choose to listen to every once in a while. 

That the best thing I have ever said was I love you, I forgive you, I miss you, I understand, I am sorry, I don't know, I wish, I am trying, I can, I can't, I will, I always will, I, I, I.

That I would probably go live underneath a rock if I am in a difficult mood, or I would go live in Spain to finally explore what I have dreamt of, and I can finally have the adventures everyone dreams of constantly. 

That is you can't run from the truth, you can't hide, you can't lie, you can't give fourth chances, you can't dwell on the future, you can't judge me for my past.

You must appreciate the small things; the dinner your mother made, the drawing your father made, the caring words from loved ones, the sun shining once again, the moon lighting your way in darkness.

To figure me out, you must dance in the rain, you must splash in the mus, you must make messes just so you can clean them up, you must understand that I love getting down and dirty, not caring how long taking care of the mess will take.

To appreciate how I live my life, you must blare the music way too loud for anybody's own good, you must stare at one spot until that thought comes back to your mind, you must reminisce on old dreams and old loves.

To sympathize with my parents, you have to look through my old photographs, of when I was a child, when I was holding my grandmother oh so tightly, never letting her go, and you have to smell the burning in the kitchen of the failed cookies I attempted to bake at Christmas time, or any time for that matter.

You want to know me? You should read the books I've read, you should see the things I've painted, you should look at my dreams, you should take a quick glance at my career goals, for that is what you should really judge me on.