the ambiance of broken lostness between lovers
we squirm in its grasp
as we cleanch each others' hands to bear the pain
flippant gestures while you talk, not cautious of my soul
that dangles percariously from your fingertips
we're so comfortable with each other that you've begun to act as if i'm not here
and i'll never be as alluring as the video games
and you'll never be as relevant as the cash
   caught gullible to love and worthless, worthless to you
   you know you could do better.

complexity tied so tightly around me that i could not move
complexity of sheer nothingness and
heavy eyelids and
reprocussive beatings of mental scars and wounds

unresponsive with a bruised spirit
strung up on wishful thinking and hopelessness and fear

there's something in the air making me think you're letting go
there's something in the mirror making me feel that you should

if ever you would get what you deserved, maybe someone who wasn't
awkward/fat/sad/battered/ruined/hideous/graceless/stupid/weak/me
the terrifying mystery of desolacy till i go cold presses a blade into my stomach as you
  bury your mind in the enchantments of our culture
blood dribbles out as you
  speak with a velvet voice and touch with velvet hands
i lose my breath as you
  speak so passionately about what you really love
and side glance at me with the eyes of an innocent
draw near to me with the hurt of a widow
kiss me with the lips of a mystery
hold me with the arms of a soldier
lose me with the pain of a child