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Traveler This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


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I have traveled the spine of the coast
cracked
rough
curved like a turtle’s shell
Trekked over mountains
like sharp incisors
and then across the soft bulge of the prairie’s belly
swollen with disease
Walked through canyons’
cracks on the massive skull of the desert

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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morgie21 said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 11:36 am:
Amazing imagery! The diction and word choice was great. the contrast between soft and sharp words were so intriguing
 
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JosephEdward said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 11:20 am:
Great job! It gave good descriptive words as well as metaphors. However I didnt really get what you were trying to tell the reader.
 
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snatcher said...
Jan. 28, 2011 at 2:00 am:
This is wonderful. I love the metaphors and the textures and the adventure.
 
Desti_B replied...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 8:34 pm :
yup...it's vivid and it comes alive when u read it..
 
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Nyrihaz said...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 7:13 pm:
Fantastic descriptions here. It kinds of feel... like you are going to tell me something and never say it; but the way you paint a picture with your words are worth the open (or never there) ending.

Continue Writing =]
 
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book-keeper26This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 12:43 pm:
the symbolism was nice but... what were you even trying to tell me, as the reader? i got no definative voice/emotion from this.
 
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noname37014 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 9:42 am:
It's a great poem, with amazing descriptions, I would've liked a more satisfying ending
 
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Marlyre This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 15, 2010 at 10:20 pm:
good imagery, even if it was morbid... did you not enjoy the trip? read some of mine?
 
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JCG14 said...
Jul. 2, 2010 at 10:32 pm:
You paint great pictures with your words, keep it up!
 
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Eilatan This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 17, 2010 at 9:57 am:
wow. this is really good.
 
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SolvoAnimus said...
Mar. 19, 2010 at 3:23 am:
this is nothing but pure inspiration for me....
Not the Words, but the content...
I mean...nature is the shiyza..
 
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sonnysulouff This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 10, 2010 at 8:00 pm:
Short, sweet, but really makes an impact. Awesome.
 
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wixchick said...
Feb. 10, 2010 at 4:40 pm:
wonderful descriptions that really pack a punch.
 
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roseann This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 10, 2010 at 4:07 pm:
so much truth. sometimes its hard to write the truth, but you never know who needs that truth and how much it helps ppl. thnx
 
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Tangnefedd said...
Nov. 14, 2009 at 12:23 pm:
The eerie description of the Earth as a famished, sickening body ("prairie's belly/swollen with disease") is bold and effective...and the juxtaposition of the traveler is a fascinating relationship...
 
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Poet_in_Motion This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 14, 2009 at 10:33 am:
Lovely. :)
 
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BaninabeanThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 1, 2009 at 8:20 pm:
This is fantastic! I've been to the grand canyon, the way you descibe it makes such a vivid mental picture....
Great job!
 
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colliganc said...
Oct. 1, 2009 at 7:44 pm:
This poem had great description. I felt like I was standing at the end of the Grand Canyon looking at how it cuves like a turtle's shell. When you say " and then across the soft bulge of the prairie's belly" I think of it as how beep and long the canyon is. You also state "cracks on the massive skull of the dessert" the canyon being a massive skull from long ago with so much history to it. I relate to this poem so well because i have traveled to the Grand Canyon and... (more »)
 
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sallyloco said...
Jun. 16, 2009 at 2:42 am:
This was VERY inspiring to me! I loved it! I loved how you used body parts: Skull belly incisors spine turtles shell... LOVED IT! Very good comparison! Good luck with furthur writing!
 
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YeseniaG said...
Jun. 15, 2009 at 11:49 pm:
Beautifully simple. Love it.
 
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