Late last night I toyed with the ideas of secrets

Some are seemingly innocent

Like when I told you about the guy I like

Some are meant to be held true and dear

My brother was the first one to to find me laughing on the phone with my boyfriend and lovingly teased me fore hours

Some bring joy

Dont you dare tell my mom but I got my first kiss

Some are more painful

You need to hear this from my but the wreck was caused by them drinking

Some are insanely serious

I took your i.d. and got pulled over... They are pressing charges

Some are more meaningful

I fell in love with you from the way your eyes shine to the way you make invisble art with words

Some are meant to hurt others

You are the reason I took those pills

Some are meant to build and restore relationships

Did he at least tell you I said no?

Some are surely meant to destroy them

I was only with him to get back at you

But either way the dice roll

You give away black mail to others

At first it is child's play

The basic he said she said game

Then the secret is twisted and rewritten through seemingly loud whispers in a dark hallway

Finally when the cards are fully dealt

The secrets you started with are branded into your skin in an ink you cant seem to find

But to everyone else the words might as well glow

Though in that ink two stories are left to be read

First your own words which have molded themselves to your shattered heart

And the verison whose words destroy and forever only burn

And thoise friends who started in the beginning of this black hole as your very own army

Before you even realizr what you are doing your hand is in the air holding and waving a flag

That should be surrender enough... right?

No instead that flag is tattered and covered with the words you never said

Every secret after your trust is broken had better be held close to your heart guarded close by your shattered battered ribs tht have been broken down by the lies and sewn together with your blue viens that strain and and twist to the point nothing not even the silent screams that you form in your throat could ever pierce through it

Not after you were forced to your knees and abandoned by the people you once called your best friends

After every light of joy was stripped

After the bruises of betrayal had faded you realized the fact of life is that you denied existed is that no one will ever be trust worthy enough to cause the secret you buried six feet uynder never to be seen again

But wait even as the knowledge of what could no would happen resurfaced you met that person who caused the blue thread to strain as though to constrict the flutter of crippling hope from even forming

But even the past cant stop the way you give out trust as though it will make the scars less visble or make them disappear

But as I wake to begin another day

The sickening question secrets plague me but only one aspect keeps my mouth sealed shut sso that not even the sweetest words from the purest lips could open it

Which leaves me to question myself as I see and hear every beautiful thing that draws me into the trap of safety

Like the game of predator and prey or the hunter and the hunted

The hunted never realizes the danger they are in until they have no escape

Until the day turns to night

Until the pain of the gunshots have become dull to feeling

Which begs to question

Will my secrets stay?