This Bit of Contradictory Insanity | Teen Ink

This Bit of Contradictory Insanity

October 19, 2015
By ElisaTheDuck ELITE, Rigaud, Other
ElisaTheDuck ELITE, Rigaud, Other
323 articles 5 photos 168 comments

You say it like it's true
But all I am is a colourfully painted wall
Nothing more
And much, much less
And that is all I ever will be
I hope
Meanwhile
The acid of your words
Stings my eyes
And you wonder why
I close my eyes
And let my feet lead me
Wait a second
Then write another line
Pieces of my soul
Follow no orderly order or direction
Don't kill me
I might fly
Fear is restraining
And the unspoken words speak out
Contrary to whatever I am
Contrary to my reality
I hate you
Can't you see that
Go leave
You wanted to anyway
Don't live by the rumour of your lies
I'm sorry
Not really
But that's fine too
What can't you see here
The reflection of myself in front of me
Is always going to be
The wrong way around
Just like
One, three, thirty-four
You'll never find out
Peak to the point of infinity
Then drop back down to sub-zero
And go live in Antarctica
Slashed clouds
Only reveal portals to heaven
You play full-contact with a glass football
Go to hell
Chance has sought me out
To play yet another mind game
And leave me guessing the answer
To a non-existent riddle
Just stop
You don't have to try
Only sighs of a heartbeat remain
I miss me
You aren't forgotten
You're just not wanted
What you cause
Isn't needed
How do I deserve the next breath
That comes my way
I can't cry out the rhythm anymore
Bitterness bites
And it hurts more to be lonely
Music defines the silenced
Without you
And your annoying anti-presence
Sound fades before the feeling
Which fades before the sight
Which fades before the song
I might remember
Or not
Now who's the twisted one
Right
Please please don't
Everything and nothing
Here right now
What is even going on now
Regret at my heals snapping
Not even needing to be there
Because there is not yet anything to regret
Other than everything
Destructive
Addictive
I hate you
So so much
Ignore me if you wish
It would make my unreality a lot easier
And worse
But you already knew that
You use it against me
Imaginary borders shade me in
A cauldron full of boiling words
Yet I can't even use one
Thanks
Thanks a whole ton
That's awfully helpful
Guess what
I don't either
Know
And what else
Ah yes
And I call this a poem
I never healed did I...



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