"I wanted to call him." She said "Just to see how he was doing. But you can't do thatr. You can't talk to someone who held your heart in their hands and pretend it never happened. 

"I wanted to ask why it was so hard to get over him. I wanted to see if he felt the pain in his sides like i did. I wantwd to know if he ever felt lonely while listing to music or, if things reminded him of the memories we had made. 

"I wanted to say i couldn't remember the sound of him sayingmy name anymore and sometimes that scared me but i knew it was important, and that our last kiss wasen't like in the movies, that it was so breif the wind had swept it away before i had the chance to commit it to memory. I wanted to explain how i'd forgotten everything apart from the way he made me feel, like i could do anything, that love wasen't just for perfect people, that love could also be for me. 

"So my god iu wanted to call him , but instead i sat on my floor and took shots like they were tea. To be honest i don't know if i still loved him , but then i suppose you have to love someone to miss them like that" like hell, absolute- f***ing hell.